Healing the Heart & Opening to Love

As babies, we enter this world wide open to receive, share and to

have experiences. Unfortunately, if our family of origin is

co-dependent, dysfunctional, critical, negative or addictive,

then what we receive as love may come with lots of strings

attached, family patterns and emotional baggage. Because of our

naïve vulnerability, we soak it all in because we need to be


When our source of love is riddled with energetic/ emotional

‘garbage’ as such, it doesn’t feel so good. It hurts. It also

paves the way for our future understanding of love. Our

blueprint has been imprinted with unhealthy understandings of

love and it has painful feelings attached to it. We have not yet

learned discernment and the ability to sort. That comes much

later after the damage is already done.

Our early vulnerability can set the pattern of rigid control in

later life. Because we could not control how we received, and

what we received early on, now we block everything out, creating

a wall around our hearts.

Our feelings, our innocence and openness have all been suppressed

and closed off for our own safety. We learned the painful heart

feelings before and we don’t want them to happen again- so we

wall it off by setting barricades of protection and control.

Our relationships suffer. We attract the same type of partner

again and again, each time upset that they are not emotionally

available, when they are only a mirror reflection of ourselves.

How can we heal the heart and open to love when we remember the


We have to give the love to ourselves first. We begin by

listening, hearing our inner voice and whispers that come from

the heart. We open and allow those trapped feelings to emerge

and be expressed. We begin by loving our self.

When we give the heart the love it craves, the defenses begin to

fall, the tears begin to flow and the control begins to relax a

bit. We are breaking through the boundaries and are finally

being nourished. We have the ability to choose how to love our

self. We learn to sort the love that comes from others from the

emotional strings that are attached to it.

We open to love with filters in place- ready to sort and clarify

that which is being received. It makes it safer to accept the

love that others offer. Once we have sorted, we have the power

to choose what is worthy of receiving because it feels good, and

what doesn’t. It’s up to us now.

© 2006 Jaelin K. Reece

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