As babies, we enter this world wide open to receive, share and to
have experiences. Unfortunately, if our family of origin is
co-dependent, dysfunctional, critical, negative or addictive,
then what we receive as love may come with lots of strings
attached, family patterns and emotional baggage. Because of our
naïve vulnerability, we soak it all in because we need to be
When our source of love is riddled with energetic/ emotional
‘garbage’ as such, it doesn’t feel so good. It hurts. It also
paves the way for our future understanding of love. Our
blueprint has been imprinted with unhealthy understandings of
love and it has painful feelings attached to it. We have not yet
learned discernment and the ability to sort. That comes much
later after the damage is already done.
Our early vulnerability can set the pattern of rigid control in
later life. Because we could not control how we received, and
what we received early on, now we block everything out, creating
a wall around our hearts.
Our feelings, our innocence and openness have all been suppressed
and closed off for our own safety. We learned the painful heart
feelings before and we don’t want them to happen again- so we
wall it off by setting barricades of protection and control.
Our relationships suffer. We attract the same type of partner
again and again, each time upset that they are not emotionally
available, when they are only a mirror reflection of ourselves.
How can we heal the heart and open to love when we remember the
We have to give the love to ourselves first. We begin by
listening, hearing our inner voice and whispers that come from
the heart. We open and allow those trapped feelings to emerge
and be expressed. We begin by loving our self.
When we give the heart the love it craves, the defenses begin to
fall, the tears begin to flow and the control begins to relax a
bit. We are breaking through the boundaries and are finally
being nourished. We have the ability to choose how to love our
self. We learn to sort the love that comes from others from the
emotional strings that are attached to it.
We open to love with filters in place- ready to sort and clarify
that which is being received. It makes it safer to accept the
love that others offer. Once we have sorted, we have the power
to choose what is worthy of receiving because it feels good, and
what doesn’t. It’s up to us now.
© 2006 Jaelin K. Reece